Be THAT Guy

“I’ll win her over.” “…playing hard to get.” “…a tease.” “She’ll come around.”

Cringe worthy, right?  These are all phrases I’d like to see sucked out of the English language. It’s because some guys don’t listen to girls. Some men don’t listen to women. And yes, to be fair, some women don’t listen to men. These phrases are all things I’ve heard from guys who don’t want to take “no” or “not interested” from someone else. And that stinks.

So, today’s post is especially for the fellas out there. I’m guessing if you’re reading this you are not one of the guys who says things like that, but just the same…I’d like you to be THAT guy. Not the jerk, obviously.

I’d like you to be that guy who calls out other guys who aren’t taking no for an answer. Not just the ones who have an unconscious victim they are assaulting (though by all means, stop that guy too). But be the guy who calls out a buddy or acquaintance when he’s throwing out lines at someone who is clearly not interested.

We are long past the days of believing that women are helpless damsels in distress waiting in castle turrets to be saved.

But some guys don’t, won’t, or choose not to listen to a girl turning them down, and when that happens? It’s awfully nice when a guy tells him to back off and points out what should be obvious.

We women will continue to speak up for ourselves, but be that guy who bypasses “boys will be boys” and sets the tone that real men listen and respect.

Because every voice deserves to be heard, and the guy who chooses not to listen to a girl might be willing to listen to you.

The Waiting Season

“To everything, there is a season…” Ecclesiastes 3:1

I am in a season of waiting, and as seasons go, it is not my favorite. Writers do lots of waiting, so you’d think I’d be used to it by now. Waiting to hear back from critique partners. Waiting to hear back from agents. Waiting to hear back from editors. Waiting for reviews, for launch, to be paid…

A wise writer will work while she waits, but waiting is still anguish.

This morning, I decided to have a bite to eat and then read my Bible. So, I picked yogurt with M&M’s, thinking it would be healthy enough. Two bites in, I realized the yogurt had spoiled. So, I tossed it. A little while later, I grabbed an oatmeal cream pie as a replacement. The first bite had a hair baked in it. *shudders* I threw it away too. At this point, I gave up on breakfast and read a few chapters.

I’d like to tell you that the chapters hit the spot and soothed my waiting heart. Sometimes that happens. But what I read didn’t give me much peace this morning.

Then, perfection. My husband walked in with a Bojangles bag. Totally unexpected! The bag contained not just one biscuit for me, but two—in case one wasn’t enough!

Isn’t that just like God? He knows our love languages (one of mine is obviously Bojangles), and He meets us right where we are to remind us that He’s taking care of us. And so today, because of those biscuits, I feel more peace in the waiting—more peace in knowing that God has a great agent out there for me. I can rest in His goodness and timing.

What are you waiting for today? 

Happy National Poetry Month!

April is National Poetry Month, so I celebrated by writing a poem. If you decide to write one too, share a link in the comment section, so we can take a peek. Also, I'd love to hear who some of your favorite poets are, so give them a shout-out!

Story Farm by Laura Renegar

The writer’s brain is like a farm

With many seeds to sow.

Ideas sink in and some take root

In zig-zags more than rows.

The farmer weeds the adverbs out.

She fertilizes scenes.

Organically, she kills the tropes—

Those buggers can be mean.

She takes her time with characters.

Her voice makes each one blossom.

She irrigates and prunes each page,

Until the plot is awesome.

She’s story farming all the time.

As seasons paint the sky,

Until she picks her finest fruit

For publishers to buy.

*special thanks to my oldest daughter for illustrating my poem!

Lovers, Haters, and Creators

Creating is natural. Beautiful. Fulfilling.

Sharing is liberating. Gratifying. Gut-wrenching.

Yeah, I said it: Gut-wrenching. Because not everybody loves every creation.

We aren’t all attracted to the same people, and that’s a good thing. I’m thankful I don’t have to pry other women off my man every time we go to Target. That would be awkward and all sorts of time consuming. He’s a good-looking man, mind you, but most women notice the gold band around his finger and realize there are other options.

I follow many writer feeds, and over and over I read this advice: “Don’t read your reviews…EVER…unless someone reads them first and filters them and only hands over the ones that say you’re brilliant.” It’s as if the path to Goodreads is Disney’s Splash Mountain ride. A boatload of writers bopping along to Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah getting the tummy squirms as danger signs and buzzards appear.

So why does it bother us if what we create isn’t for everyone? We don’t all like the same foods, music, or people.

But when you create something, it’s different. It comes from you. You love it, nurture it, and groom it. When it seems less fragile, you allow a select few to hold it. And when you are confident your creation can walk, run, or even fly on its own, you let go.

Or pretend to.

But it’s still your baby.

And when someone calls your baby ugly, it would be easy to go mama bear on them.

But we mustn’t.

I am North Carolina born and raised and grew up under the rule of “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” so I’m guessing I should probably avoid reading my own reviews when that glorious day comes…or maybe I’ll peek through half-closed fingers like a kid watching a horror movie.

There’s an awesome episode of Victorious called The Bird Scene. It should be required that all actors, artists, and writers watch it before throwing themselves or their work out for public eyes. Seriously. Wisdom from TeenNick to creators everywhere.

What do you recommend? How do you handle someone not loving your creative baby? Comment and let us know.

Five Advantages To Being A Writer

I love being a writer. Seriously. LOVE. So as we start the new year together, I thought I'd share a countdown of five fun reasons why:

5. Funky hair color and attire is encouraged.

4. People Watching totally counts as research.

 

3. Creating imaginary friends, enemies, and boyfriends for others is all kinds of fun.

 

2. Furry mascots for the win!

 

1. The skills I’ve picked up from youtube and google searches ensure I’ll always be on somebody’s watch list.

 

So whatever you are (a writer, a dreamer, a magic bean buyer), join in the fun. Comment below to tell us something you love about what you do. Happy 2015!

 

 

When A Turtle's Not A Turtle

Last Saturday morning, I was teaching my youngest how to make shape pancakes because FUN! But her smile drooped, her forehead wrinkled, and I sensed she was ready to hurl the ladle across the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I keep trying to make a turtle, but it looks nothing like a turtle,” she grumped.

I tilted my head and opened my eyes wide. “WHOA!”

The pancake she had tried to make into a turtle had shifted into golden phoenix. It was incredible. When I told her what it looked like to me, it became an insta-favorite.

This happens with so many things. Stories. Guys. Relationships.

We have in mind what perfection looks like. We see it so clearly, we can almost taste it. And then it morphs into something we hardly recognize. It may still be amazing, or it may be horrific, but all we can think is, “That’s not a turtle.”

Has this happened to you? Did you learn to love what it became, or did you start all over again? Leave a comment to share!

Firsts

I’ve been thinking about firsts this summer and how, um, AWKWARD they can be. So in case you wanted to think about awkward firsts too, whether for late night bonding with a friend or for a writing exercise, here’s a list to get you started:

First Time Putting On Makeup

First Date

First Kiss

First Crush

First Dance

First Audition

First Show

First Tryout

First Time NOT Making The Team

First Time Making The Team When A Buddy Doesn’t

First Game

First Time Being Dumped

First Time Having To Dump Someone Else

First Fight With A Best Friend

First Time You & Your Bestie Liked The Same Guy

First Big Party You DIDN’T Get Invited To

First Time Playing Spin The Bottle

First Time Saying “I Love You”

First Time Hearing He Only Wants To Be Friends

First Time Falling Asleep While On The Phone

First Time Tasting Liquor

First Time Hiding A Hickey

A PitMad Victory, A Winter's Hibernation, And POOF! It's Spring!

Today there is a feeding frenzy happening on Twitter called PitMad. Some writers knock contests saying that they are time sucks and that writers should stick to querying agents they've researched. I think that advice is only half true. Writers should always research an agent before deciding whether or not to submit pages to them. Just because someone has Twitter followers and an agency, doesn't mean he/she is a good agent or a good agent to represent your writing.

But contests can be amazingly helpful for writers hoping to find agents. You see, my fabulous agent Laura Zats found me because of last fall's PitMad.

*stops to do the Peanuts' happy dance*

It's true! I pitched my young adult suspense ASHES AND INK, and Laura Zats requested a partial...followed by a full...followed by a request for a phone call which led to an offer. Some would argue that I could have found her on my own, but here's the thing: It hadn't been announced that she was an agent yet. *gasps* That's right! I snagged a ninja agent that I would have never known was an option had it not been for pitching ASHES AND INK into the PitMad frenzy. So I researched her, emailed her references, and signed with her a week after our phone call. Initially, I was going to take two weeks to decide, but we clicked so well, and I loved her ideas and enthusiasm so much, I could not wait another week to team up with her and Red Sofa Literary.

This led to my winter hibernation from my blog. On top of being a driven agent, Laura Zats is an extraordinary editor. She sent me fantastic revision notes to help fix plot holes, draw out scenes, and make my YA shine. So that's where I've been. Hibernating in my revision cave. And now that my manuscript is polished and pretty, I get to work on my next one.

Good luck, PitMad peeps! I know it seems crazy to throw your manuscript into the Twitter rapids, but wonderful things can happen! So take a chance, do your research before hitting send, and know that I'm cheering for you!

Comment and tell me your Twitter handle if you're participating in PitMad. I'd love to see your pitches and cheer you on!

To read the interview with Laura Zats and myself, check out Jamie Corrigan's big reveal.

Thankful For Great Characters

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I thought we’d put a bookish spin on things and talk about characters we’re thankful we've met. One character I’ve loved since I was a little is Pippi Longstocking. She’s creative. She always has a story to tell. She’s much stronger than she looks. Annnnnnnnnnnnd she has a pet monkey. Ha!

So how about you? Is there a character you’ve read about recently or one from your past that inspired you? Share about him/her in the comment section. On Thanksgiving, I’ll draw one sharer's name to win a $10 Barnes & Noble gift card. This contest is only open to U.S. residents. Be sure I have your email address, Twitter handle, or some way to contact you in case your name is picked. Good luck, and thanks for sharing!

Five Things You Will Never Hear Me Say

Sometimes the things a person or character won’t say are more telling than what they will say. Delia Moran has a post on what she wouldn’t say, and I love it so much I decided to steal (with her consent) the idea. Here’s the link to hers. And here are five things you’ll never hear me say:

5. Want to meet me for a 5:00 a.m. jog?
4. I know exactly where that random piece of paper I jotted that down on is!
3. Who would buy paperclips just because they come in cute shapes or colors?
2. Baked Kale tastes just like potato chips.

And last, but not least:

1. No worries. I never take my story ideas from real life situations.

What would be on your list? Share by leaving a comment.  If you decide to steal Delia’s post idea, be sure to leave the link so we can read yours too! J

 

In Love With Love

My littlest is in love with the idea of having a puppy. We emailed in a rescue application for a particular fur baby. They called our veterinarian. Things were hopping along, until I checked Petfinder and discovered someone else had adopted the cutie over the weekend. My little one cried. SOBBED.

Until I showed her a new puppy…with a fat little puppy belly…and pleading puppy eyes. Then my daughter fell in love. Again.

Sometimes we’re in love with an idea more than an individual.

This happened to me in college. I was dancing with my friends in a club, when I noticed a quiet guy watching from the corner. He’s probably shy…and smart…and funny…and perfect for me, I thought. In reality, he was shy, but not funny. He was sure UFO’s existed and visited often. I would look up during random times of my day and find him watching me. Not the romantic, sweet, sort of watching. The creepy sort of SomeoneDoACriminalBackgroundCheck watching. Yeah. Not so perfect for me after all.

Writers can do this with agents and editors. There are awesome professionals scouting for talent on Twitter and blog contests, but there are also people out there who call themselves agents and editors that don’t do either well. When a request comes from someone, ANYONE, it’s hard not to get excited. But a savvy writer will check out them out thoroughly before deciding whether or not to submit their work to them.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever been in love with the idea more than the individual? Tell us about it in the comment section. Substitute Bob or Bobbette to avoid naming names!

 

Leap!

My summer was packed with adventure. Camping with Yogi Bear. Racing down waterslides. Even finding my inner ARRRRGH at the Beaufort Pirate Invasion.

A favorite scene happened during one of my kids' gymnastics lessons. A teacher from a different class had a group running through the same obstacle course over and over. All of the sudden, a differently-abled little girl had had enough. Instead of returning to the end of the line like the others, she took off with arms flailing and a rebel cry toward the giant foam pit on the other side of the gym. The staff called for her to stop, but she ignored them—keeping her eyes on where she really wanted to be.

It is a thing of beauty to watch someone leap.

We get caught up in the day to day, making sensible choices and listening to reason, but most of us long for something more. To dive into a foam pit. Sing on a big stage. Lay a kiss on someone we’ve secretly loved. To fly across the Atlantic Ocean using hundreds of helium-filled balloons. It takes courage to leap. After all, it doesn’t always end well. But that moment when there is more hope than there is fear? It tastes like freedom.

So as the new school year begins, I’ll ask you…heck, I’ll double dog dare you! LEAP! Find something that makes your heart sing and take a chance.

Are you planning on leaping? Comment below to tell us what you are doing to throw yourself into a dream.

Beer Goggles, First Drafts, and Tattoo Nightmares

I love it when seeming unrelated things connect like paper dolls in my mind. Beer goggles (for those too innocent to know) are what people claim to have been wearing when they've had a few drinks too many and the Star Trek fan who never caught their eye before suddenly becomes HAWT and fascinating and all sorts of kissable.

So what would beer goggles have to do with a first draft of a manuscript? Lots, my friend. Lots. Creating words and worlds, chaos and conflict—it’s intoxicating. We come up for air enamored and hazy, buzzing enough that the lines between a good start and a good manuscript get blurry and sometimes disappear.

One of my current favorite shows is Tattoo Nightmares. It’s a reality show where people with awful tattoos come to three amazing artists to get cover-ups. The backstories? Fascinating. The finished products? Mind blowing. You can hardly see traces of the botched pieces they used to have. They each leave with a masterpiece of skin art.

Being a part of a critique group keeps me from beer goggling after a first draft. I am still the artist, but discussing my manuscript with other writers helps sober me up and transform a good beginning into a work that’s ready to show others.

So how about you? Ever fall in love with an awful first draft or get a terrible tattoo? Comment and tell us about it.

The Stars Fell Sideways Interview & Giveaway

It's Halloween, and since you stopped by, I have a treat for you. I interviewed Cassandra Marshall about her brand new book THE STARS FELL SIDEWAYS. Not only will you get the inside scoop on this author/freelance editor/lit. agency worker, but two commenters will be winning prizes. YAY! So ready, set, here we go...

What is your pitch for THE STARS FELL SIDEWAYS?

Alison Arroway takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’. She has to, or she won’t get paid. Alison is a stunt double for pampered teen actress Pomegranate and when the director takes the shoot to Portugal, Alison is anything but thrilled to be rooming with Pom. But getting to hang around teen hearthrob Erik? Now that’s a plus. 

Erik invites both girls on a sunset boat trip and Alison manages to have a decent time. Until the storm hits and the boat is shipwrecked on a small island, leaving Erik missing and the boat captain dead. 

In the morning light, Alison and Pom find themselves on the lost island of Atlantis. Only one problem: now that the girls know the secret of the island, the Atlanteans don’t want them to leave. They're stuck with corsets, full-skirted dresses, and the strange steam-driven contraptions that are just a way of life for the islanders.

When a plot by the ruthless army Captain to take over the island and declare himself General over all emerges, an underground group promises to return the girls to the mainland if they can help stop him. They'll go through a mountain, literally, to find the Book of Blue, a book that will explain how to make ‘the stars fall sideways' in order to save the day and earn their freedom.

THE STARS FELL SIDEWAYS, a YA Steampunkish fantasy, from MolliePup Press!

How would you explain steampunk to a reader who is unfamiliar with the term?
The basic gist of steampunk is imagining a world where mechanical development stopped in the Victorian age with steam-powered contraptions. There's also an undercurrent of questioning authority and asserting your independence. Aesthetically it's about Victorian garb--top hats, parasols, corsets, heeled shoes, etc--and decoratively it's about cogs and gears, wood paneling, rivets, hodgepodge construction, reusing the finite, etc.

Your main character goes on a sunset boat trip with a hottie actor. If you could go to sea with any actor, who would you choose?
Oh, wow... Um... ?? Hopefully one that knows how to make the boat go, because I have no idea! How about Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes? I feel like he'd know how things work, plus he's nice to look at!

If you could play any character from any book in the movie version, who would you play? Hermione Granger! I'd get to play with magic, Crookshanks, and I'd curl up with Neville Longbottom!

In addition to writing, you work for a literary agency and do some freelance editing. What are some of your tricks for balancing it all?
Scheduling, compartmentalizing, and I stay in a lot. :)

Where can we buy your book?
Paperback

ISBN: 978-0988264502

$9.99
Amazon | Createspace | Indiebound



Ebook
ISBN: 978-0988264526
$3.99
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Smashwords | Apple iBooks | Diesel
 |Sony

Signed print copies can also be purchased from thestarsfellsideways.com!

Thanks, Cassandra! I hope you sell a bajillion copies.

And now for the giveaway: Cassandra is offering one first page critique (up to 250 words) and an e-copy of THE STARS FELL SIDEWAYS as prizes. To enter, leave a comment telling us who your favorite movie star is. Make sure I know how to email you in case your name is drawn! For an extra entry, tweet a link to this post with @LauraRenegar in it. I'll draw 2 winners (one for each prize) out of a hat after Halloween's midnight. Good luck!

And The Winner Is...

All the entries to our BEING FRANK Birthday Contest had me giggling, but alas, there can only be one name drawn from the hat--although technically, I drew from an empty fruit roll-up box. The winner of Donna Earnhardt's fabulously funny picture book BEING FRANK is Maureen Wartski! Congratulations, Maureen! You will be getting an email soon so we can get your prize to your doorstep.

If your name wasn't picked, you don't have to miss out. You can buy a copy of BEING FRANK at  Barnes and Noble , Amazon, or your favorite bookstore. Thanks for visiting my blog and making it more fun with your comments!

Being Frank Contest

Today is a special day! It's the book birthday for my good friend and wonderful critique partner Donna Earnhardt's funny picture book BEING FRANK. Frank is an honest kid, but alas! Frank has not learned to be tactful. Anyone know a kid like that? I bet a few adults come to mind too! So to celebrate BEING FRANK's birthday, we're going to give away a copy of this hilarious picture book to one commenter. Here's how to enter:

Leave a comment below telling us about a time a kid you knew was a little too frank. You can have extra entries for sharing this contest on Twitter, Facebook, or Google+. Just comment each time you share it with the link. As always, make sure I know how to get in touch with you if your name gets picked. We'll draw one lucky winner at noon EST on Friday, October 5th. This contest is open to U.S. entries only. Good luck!

The Next Big Thing

Thanks to Jaye Robin Brown for tagging me in this fun post. It gives me the chance to talk about the manuscript I'm querying and pass the microphone to some fellow writers to do the same. I'm tagging Neely Simpson , Chris Ledbetter , Donna Earnhardt , and Cheryl Angst in hopes that they'll answer these questions on their blogs too. No pressure.

1. What is the working title of your book? INK

2. Where did the idea come from the book? I was walking around Southpoint Mall in Durham, NC. They have amazing statues of happy children playing. My YA mind started churning about missing children instead. Warped, right?

3. What genre is your book? It's a Young Adult mystery.

4. Which actors would you choose to play the characters in a movie? I have no idea,  but if we could work in a cameo for Matt Damon, I wouldn’t complain. ;)

 

5. What is a one sentence synopsis of your book? Fresh out of juvie and living on the streets, Mazie is searching for the kidnapped daughter of the firefighter that died in the flames Mazie started. 

6. Will your book be self-published or repped by an agency? I’m seeking representation for it and hope to see it traditionally published.

7. How long did it take you to finish your first draft? I think the first draft took about 6 months. I worked my tail off. I have spent many more months revising though.

8. What other books would you compare yours to in this genre? I think INK would appeal to fans of fast-paced contemporary YA, such as Lisa McMann’s WAKE trilogy. As for movies? It has a bit of a Shawshank Redemption feel to it—especially at the beginning.

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book? The story just came to me. I did name an awesome character in honor of my favorite high school teacher who passed away last year. I think she’d be pleased with her namesake and hopefully with my story.

10. What else about your book might pique a reader's interest? Much of the story takes place in and around a tattoo shop. I hung out in one to do field research. Tattoos fascinate me.

Pitching Plot Bunnies

You know that point when you've decided to eat healthy, and then McDonald's advertises their Rolo McFlurry? Sometimes that happens in my writing life too. Focus meets temptation. And temptation looks like a mighty sweet treat. Sometimes we dive into a manuscript and are making amazing progress when a plot bunny hops by and catches our interest. Plot bunnies are story ideas that pop into a writer's head and beg for attention. I'm not one to ignore a plot bunny. I might need that fellow when I finish my current WIP. My fabulous writer friend Donna Earnhardt has a July challenge perfect for rounding up those critters so they'll be there when you need them. Check out Donna's Elevator Pitches Challenge .

The Agent Crush & Why You Should Play the Field

When I married Scott, I thought my days of crushes were over---well, not the celebrity crushes because we’re allowed to keep five of those, right? But on my writer’s journey I’ve discovered a new type of crush that brings back high school insecurities and squeezes my heart in an equally intense way. The Agent Crush. It’s inevitable that as we’re researching to find the best agent for our book someone wonderful will make our hearts cry “If only.” We’re checking websites and blogs and interviews. We’re watching Querytracker to see how they respond to other writers. And then there’s Twitter—a social network that helps us hang on their every word. *sigh*


For me, one of the toughest things about starting the querying process was querying the second agent. You see, I’m a loyal gal. When I commit to someone, I quit looking for other options. But here’s the thing: Until an agent has committed to you, it’s wise to “play the field.” Here’s why:

1.      Self-Preservation. You’re not going to give up if your top choice rejects you. There are other agents in the literary sea, and it will be balm to your soul to have seen that for yourself if a rejection letter pops up in your inbox.

2.      Choices. One of the advantages in sending out simultaneous submissions (querying more than one agency at the same time with the same manuscript) is the possibility of having more than one offer of representation. Talking to the agents will give you a feel for their level of enthusiasm for your manuscript. The fabulous agent to your favorite author may feel a little “Meh” about your writing and may not make selling it as much of a priority. A newer agent may be bursting at the seams to unleash your masterpiece.

3.      Finding an agent (for most writers) is a slow process. Sometimes it will be months before you hear back from someone. Sometimes you won’t hear back at all. You owe it to your manuscript…you owe it to the kid waiting to read your book to get your work in the hands of more than one possibility.

So go ahead, doodle your favorite agent’s name in gel pen on your hot pink Post-it notes. There’s no judgment here. But keep your options open. There may be an agent of awesome waiting in the wings.

How do you handle agent crushes? Comment below to share.

Capilocks and the Three Critique Partners

Once upon a time, there lived a young writer with stories worth gold bouncing from her head. She dreamed of an amazing house—a publishing house that would take her manuscript all the way to Happily Ever After. So after Capilocks trudged through the Forest of Revision, she set out to find a critique partner that was juuuuuuust right.

The first partner she found was a tough one. He flashed his red Sharpie and laughed a maniacal laugh as he slayed each sentence and made them his own. He belittled her ideas, told her to only write to the trends, and tweeted mean things about her crappy first drafts.

Capilocks shuddered. “This relationship is too hard.” She wished him well, gathered her tattered ego, and backed away.

The next partner she found was quite cuddly. She dotted her I’s with smileys and hearts, embraced every adverb, and proclaimed, “Brilliant! Send it!” whenever Capilocks scribbled out a new manuscript on the back of a phone message. Capilocks liked this new partner. She never criticized and always encouraged, but Capilocks' stories were still rather suckish.

“This critiquer is too soft,” she said. Capilocks looked around for someone new.

At last, she landed in a relationship with a fabulous writer and caring soul—someone who wanted her to succeed, but wasn’t afraid to ask tough questions. Someone who encouraged her voice, but hid the postage stamps and guarded the send button until manuscripts were polished and prime.

“This critique relationship is just right,” said Capilocks. And it was.

I’ve been blessed to work with some amazing critique partners and dodged a few that didn’t work for me. Where do you go to find great critique partners? Do you ever find it’s tough to critique in a way that’s juuuuust right? Please share in the comments below.